My Beloved Apachi
15 years after I last saw Apachi, I had this vision.
I saw a scared little puppy cowering in the corner. She was very sad and lonely.
I did not recognize this puppy. I wondered who it was.
I turned my gaze a little to the right and saw a beautiful black panther pacing.
For a moment I was enthralled in its presence and breathtaking beauty!
As I returned my focus to the puppy, it suddenly transformed into a young woman!
“Wow”, I gasped! My heart quickened. How beautiful she was!
I looked back at the panther and asked her, “Who is this puppy that changed into a woman?”
The panther never stopped moving, but she instantly transformed herself into my “Apachi” right before my eyes! And then she said, “It is you!”
And I cried!
Throughout this journey I have transformed myself, been effortlessly reborn. The K9 spirit guides provided me with the tools I needed to morph from that scared little puppy or child into a beautiful, powerful woman that I never knew I was underneath. This is Apachi’s message, and you will understand it through her story as this is precisely what she did. She literally illustrated my path to me when she was here.
Apachi was an incredible dog. Anyone who met her probably still remembers her. She had a presence that commanded your attention. This is probably one of the easiest sections to write, because Apachi was one of the most amazing dogs to ever walk the planet. Her intense bright eyes pierced right through me, right into my soul. This unique canine was even more gifted and special than I ever imagined, and I will explain this to you during her story.
She was a Belgian Malinois born in my very first litter in 2002. Her story is unlike any I have ever told. So, strap on your magic cap, open your heart and your mind, and I will take you on one of the most incredible adventures between a human and a dog. If you can even consider her to be a dog.
Apachi grabbed my attention when she was just 4 weeks old. But Apachi was not born secure and confident. She was very shy around strangers, and she didn't want them to look at her or touch her. As strangers reached for her, she would duck and dodge out of range. If not on leash, she would attempt to run and hide. She perfectly reflected me as a child and resembled the puppy I had seen in my vision. I was terrified of strangers same as she was. I would not speak and if pressured I would hide behind my mother. I remember this version of me very clearly now. But that was not obvious to me when Apachi was a puppy.
To help her get through this fear, I provided a flood of diverse safe experiences. I desperately wanted Apachi to move past this and in a way, I had to move past it as well. I was having to trust her to blossom into the dog I could see behind it, much like she could see me for who I really was.
Despite her insecurities she was always wagging her tail and staring a hole through me; like she was reading my mind. I discovered that the more obedience she learned, the more I could redirect her fear into knowledge. I would put her into an obedience mindset and then have people come up to her while she was thinking about her toy. When she performed the task correctly without being bothered by the stranger and maintaining focus on me and her assignment, she was richly paid with a reward. And above all else, she pleased me, and I made sure she knew it. She could pretend that this stranger was not in her space and was not actually touching her because she was so intently focused on me and her reward. It worked perfectly!
And then she did the most brilliant thing! She began to substitute her fear of the unknown into TRUST for me! She began to completely trust anything I asked her to do. Somehow, I had earned her undying, unquestioning, unwavering trust in this process. If I asked her to tolerate someone touching her, she understood that she was safe even though she did not like it. So out of respect for me, she learned to endure it. She had figured out a way to integrate this fearful side of her transmuting it into a practical answer that would satisfy me. Her fear was transformed into knowledge and courage right before my eyes! With just a little kindness, understanding, and education I was able to guide her through this process. It was brilliant, and I was so proud of her! The irony to this story I would later learn was that she was actually asking me to trust in her message and in the process of my own transformation!
Apachi and I were psychically bonded I now understand. She tuned into every movement and every breath I took. It felt like we were attached by an invisible umbilical cord full of energy. Walking with her at my side was like riding the most beautiful stallion in the world. The two of us moved in total unison. I could palpate the power, the energetic connection, and I found it empowering and intoxicating. With this type of connection, I felt like I could do anything! And this was the gift that Apachi brought with her, the teaching she had to share, and the lesson she wanted me to learn. She was literally showing me the person I was evolving into, just as she did in the vision decades later! If I could only tap into my true self, I would finally understand the full impact of my God given self! She had so much to teach me much like all our dogs and their owners.
You can read more about this beautiful creature and our adventure together in the book.